Review: Danielle Sepulveres’ Losing It: The Semi-Scandalous Story of an Ex-Virgin (2012)
If you are ever privileged to have someone break down in front of you because of a recently dissolved relationship, you see a narrative unfold. A narrative filled with firsts with that person, the first kiss, the first indication that it was a relationship, the first of many more intimate embraces to be had, first signs that the relationship was on a downturn and the first of many more excuses to cover up what, at the time, didn’t seem like a character flaw, but seems apparent now. Heartache and sorrow lengthen the time of recovery between the break-up and feeling okay, strenuous to the point of making one believe that there is no end, no silver lining, that in fact, there might be something wrong with them. Of course, it isn’t until some time that one reflects fondly on that narrative by adding humor and lessening its emotional gravity.
Losing It: The Semi-Scandalous Story of an Ex-Virgin by Danielle Sepulveres is a memoir that is the encapsulation of the firsts in a relationship and the struggle to feel okay, taken to the Nth degree with humor and adversity during the diagnoses of cervical cancer, HPV, and an unfaithful boyfriend.
Sepulveres flashes back and forth within and outside the relationship to create both hope and despair. Danielle, the main character of the story, waxes poetically about first laying eyes on Matt Ryan, the person she loses her virginity to, only to cut to several pages later where she is at her gynecologist office having her vagina frozen as part of a HPV treatment. As the book progresses, the flashback device serves to keep readers from being a cynic (at one time, there was genuine affection between both of them) but also keeps one grounded (Matt Ryan, her first, cheated on her and gave her HPV). One can easily lose themselves in the beautiful tender moments between Matt and Danielle, scratching one’s head and trying to find out how it all went wrong, only to be answered a few pages later.
While the flashback device proves effective in eliciting emotions on both extremes it does, at certain points, confuse one’s sense of time within the book. Flipping to the beginning of the book and taking a couple of seconds to establish a timeline between certain events helps in locating oneself again. A loose end one finds within the memoir is the therapist. This can be viewed at once a triggering mechanism for the flashback device but it also feels like there should be some sort of closure (Does Danielle continue seeing the therapist? Does the therapist aid in other areas of her life?).
In the end, however, these minor discrepancies do not matter. Sepulveres excellently weaves a story that recalls the universal feelings of firsts in a relationships, making one feel less lonely and more connected to others, even when there is a loss as great as heartbreak.
Losing It: The Semi-Scandalous Story of an Ex-Virgin by Danielle Sepulveres is published by Bryce Cullen Publishing and available through Amazon.com: Here.
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